We wait all night for calls like these.
On May 24, 1993, the eve of the release of Kamakiriad, Donald Fagen took questions from the listeners of the nationally syndicated radio show Rockline. Midway through the program—a recording of which was recently provided to Expanding Dan by subscriber Toby Howard—the station received a rather extraordinary call.
“This is Frank from Swales, Arizona,” says host Beau Riles, introducing the caller.
“Hey there!” the man replies in a thick New York patois. “I wanna ask—what was it like workin’ wit' Walt-uh Beck-uh again?”
“It was an incredible drag,” Fagen says without missing a beat. “This guy just gets on my nerves. I don’t know what to do with him! I’m thinking maybe I should just fire him… Let me ask you something. Do you have any time? Are you in the middle of projects or something like that, where you could maybe take his place?”
The offer goes ignored.
“Did you order the open-face sandwich?” Frank from Swales asks.
One now begins to suspect the caller might be a Howard Stern fan who’s about to yell “Baba Booey!” Fagen, however, sounds unruffled.
“‘The Open-Face Sandwich’ was a song that Walter and I were working on together in the middle-’80s. We used to work on it [while] sitting in the Carnegie Delicatessen, actually.”
“Now, Gary Katz,” Frank from Swales continues, “is he as tall as he looks in some of the pictures that I’ve seen?”
“Gary Katz is a homunculus,” Fagen says. “Do you know what that is, sir?”
“Uh, I think I do know what that is.”
“It’s a very tiny man.”
“I don’t think that’s a very nice thing to say about Gary Katz,” says Frank from Swales.
“You guys seem like you know each other awfully well,” Riles interjects. “This is Walter Becker, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, it is. I really am in Swales, Arizona. Isn’t that incredible?”
“What are you doing in Swales?” Fagen asks.
“Well,” Becker says, “I got a job at a shoe store here.”
“Hey,” Fagen says, “could you send a couple pumps to my wife?”
“Listen, Walter, you guys are starting the tour this summer,” Riles says, bringing the proceedings back to earth. “How do you feel about it?”
“I’m a little nervous about the tour. I haven’t been doing this sort of thing the last couple years. I’m just hoping everything goes pretty much without incident.”
“Swales—is the desert bloom real nice this year?” Riles asks. “Because I know we got a lot of rain out here out west.”
“Oh, it’s fantastic,” Becker says. “Almost everyone’s rash has cleared up.”
“Are they still holding the submarine races down there?” Fagen asks. The line makes his partner nearly crack.
“Yeah, they hold ’em down at the indoor swimming pool,” Becker says, “near the Korean barbecue place.”
“Walter, thanks for calling in,” Riles says. “I’m sure you’ll be talking to this other gentleman soon.”
“Soon enough.”
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